You worked tirelessly, staying up late, digging deep, and trying to make sense of the data. You understood the details, the patterns, and their significance. But when it came time to present your findings, you hesitated. You doubted your ability to communicate clearly.
Sound familiar?
That was the silent struggle I faced for many years. But I overcame self-doubt, unlocked my authentic voice, and gained confidence through three simple techniques. If it worked for me, I guarantee that it will work for you!
1. Accept the Imperfections Within
For a long time, I blamed my circumstances and lived in denial that I lacked the skills and personality to be a confident speaker.
I was raised by a single parent who gave me everything she could, but money was always tight. I couldn’t go to the fancy convent schools. I watched other kids get opportunities I could only dream of. I also blamed the teachers; they always seemed to favor kids who spoke well. The rest of us? We were just… there. Invisible.
Slowly, I started believing that maybe I wasn’t good enough, that maybe I was just less privileged, less capable, less worthy. This narrative had lived inside me for so long, until recently, when my life coach, my mentor, looked me in the eye and said,
Nothing will change in the next five years, unless you change something. Otherwise, five years will pass, and you’ll still be in the same place.
Twenty-five years had passed, and I was stuck in the same place. If I didn’t do something now, I’d be stuck in the same cycle of silence and self-doubt for another 25 years! That conversation was the wake-up call I didn’t know I needed. If I truly wanted my life to change, I had to stop waiting. I had to take ownership. I had to work on my voice, not just how I spoke, but also how I showed up in the world.
I did some research and found Toastmasters, a global platform and forum, where I could practice public speaking, build confidence, and learn to speak fearlessly. I joined Toastmasters and began attending and actively participating in every meeting. Progress started when I accepted my flaws and decided to change the narrative.
Accept your current skills. The moment you stop fighting yourself, you free up the energy to truly grow.
2. Enjoy the Process of Learning
Like learning any other new skill, my progress felt painfully slow. I was constantly comparing myself to great speakers who spoke with such confidence, whether at Toastmasters or at work. I’d think, “I’ll never be like them”. Self-doubt crept in, my morale dropped, and no matter how hard I tried, I became frustrated, wondering, “Why am I not seeing results?”
When I shared this with my Toastmasters coach, he asked, “Why are you so focused on the peak of the mountain? Learn to enjoy the journey.”
That reminder helped me shift my focus from the outcome to the process, and that’s when real growth began. What mattered now was getting stage-time. I jumped at every opportunity to speak. I spoke even when my hands shook and my voice trembled. I spoke through the noise of self-doubt, even when I went blank and felt the weight of everyone’s eyes on me. It was uncomfortable, but I kept showing up.
I learned from every awkward moment. I’d ask fellow members, “Did you see my hands shaking?” Surprisingly, they didn’t! One person even told me it’s a good sign that the adrenaline rush helps your brain focus. That shifted my perspective. I accepted all the constructive feedback and began applying it to my speeches. With each improvement, learning became more exciting, and within a few months, I completed three levels in the Presentation Mastery Pathway.
Don’t fear mistakes, embrace them. Growth comes with practice, not perfection.
3. Reframe Your Thoughts with Affirmations
The real barrier to growth isn’t skill, it’s the belief system we carry. Oftentimes, we don’t believe in ourselves enough.
Over the years, family, friends, and society have shaped narratives that I unknowingly internalized. My mom used to say, “My middle one is shy”, and I started believing it. While working with my therapist, I came to a powerful realization—the thought patterns and beliefs I’ve woven over the years have shaped a narrative of limiting beliefs that are now holding me back from growing. To grow, I had to let go of those limiting beliefs and build a stronger mindset. That started with intentional, powerful affirmations replacing old stories with new truths.
To shift my belief system, I enlisted my Toastmasters group to do a strength exercise with me—to share five strengths they see in me, since I often struggled to identify my strongest qualities. They responded:
- I speak with heart
- My content is motivational
- I offer actionable takeaways
- I bring energy and enthusiasm
- I radiate positivity and have a beautiful smile
This exercise boosted my confidence and gave me clarity about my core strengths, the ones I had overlooked before.
Now I knew what to nurture further and could focus more intentionally on improving my weaker areas. Additionally, I’ve learned to consciously reframe my thoughts when I felt scared or intimidated. For example,
Instead of thinking: “What will the executive think if I mess up or don’t deliver on point?”
I reframed my thought: They hired me because I bring value. If I don’t hit every point perfectly, that doesn’t erase my strengths or potential. I’m here to grow, contribute, and learn, and that’s exactly what they saw in me
Growth begins when you stop doubting your worth and start rewriting your story.
Conclusion
Letting go of self-judgment isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about becoming more of yourself. When you accept where you are, enjoy the process, and reinforce yourself with positive affirmations and beliefs, you’ll find your voice becoming stronger, clearer, and more authentic.
Today, I see confidence blooming in every area of my life: at work, in personal conversations, and at parties and gatherings. I’m less intimidated now because I’ve done the work, with the support of my fellow Toastmasters members. If you commit to showing up and practising, you can master any skill in your life.
The next time you feel doubt creeping in, remember: you’ve done the work. You’ve earned your voice. Now speak, not because you’re fearless, but because you’re ready. The world is waiting to hear you.
Written by Kritika Singh, Blog Writer
Kritika Singh is a Finance Project Manager by profession. She is a member of ArtICCulators Club.